My Lai
by DevilDogPrincess
Summary: A tragic accident leaves a fiance without her husbandtobe. Gippal steps in to help, and falls, but maybe Miko's love isn't on the Farplane like she thought...
1. The Test

My bed lies empty as I find myself transfixed by the news on the Sphere screen. A gentle breeze blows in off the desert and through my window. I think for just an instant I can smell Baralai, but it's just the rich scent of the Morat cactus. I miss Baralai so much, but the reports say he was lost in battle at sea. More than once I've cried here alone. Occasionally I call over Gippal to comfort me, but I stopped. I stopped when Gippal began to fall for me, because I can't fall back…

But now I find myself lonely again, and I reach for my communicator. "Gippal… Gippal, are you awake?"

A muffled voice comes from my communicator. "I'll be there in five minutes."

Silent tears roll down my cheeks as the smell of the night air fills the room. Baralai was always so clean, yet when he came with me to the desert, he always dug for the fruit of the Morat cactus for me, and picked Desert Lilies. He would smell of Cactus and his musky soap, and his hair like Forest Citrus. His hands were always so soft, despite all the needles he got stuck in them when he visited the Bikanel Desert. He said it was because I was so good at giving him first aid.

"Miko…" Gippal came in without knocking and sat beside me, wiping away my tears. I fall into his arms more easily this time, nuzzled up against his neck. He holds me and rocks me in his lap.

I cuddle closer, moving more into his warm embrace. He responds to this by taking me to the bed, where he pulls the blanket over us and pulls me against his chest.

I listen to his heartbeat and smile, breathing in his rugged scent. _Maybe... maybe, someday, I could fall in love with you, Gippal_.

"That's all I ask." He whispers, and I realize I was thinking aloud. My face blushes with embarrassment and I shift a bit closer.

"I miss him, Gippal… I miss him so much."

"I know, Love, I know… We all do" He runs his fingers through my hair as we lie together.

Gippal has called me 'Love' for about a month now, since he told me that he loved me, even if I couldn't love him back. He said he understood… that he would always be there.

We stopped doing anything too serious 2 months ago. Every time we do, I wind up moaning Baralai's name… at first, Gippal could take it, but now it hurts him too much. Instead, we just hold each other close and he kisses me and tries to make me feel secure… to make me safe.

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Though she murmurs his name in her sleep, it doesn't change the fact that she asked me to come. It doesn't change the kisses she gives me. When she cries in her sleep, it's me who is here for her, reassuring her, and when she's ready to love me, I'll be here.

Is it so wrong for me to be here?

Baralai loved Miko so much… he would give anything for her, and so will I. I just hope that he approves. I hope that he is smiling from the Farplane.

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_"E muja oui cu silr, Miko. Oui syga sa y paddan syh yht y paddan Bnyadun. Oui syga sa fruma. Femm oui ramb sa pnehk New Yevon yht dra Al Bhed dukadran? Femm oui muja sa vunajan? ...Miko, Femm oui synno sa?"_

_"Oh… Oh yes! Oh, I love you, Lai!" I threw my arms around him. _

"_Oh Lai… you learned Al Bhed for me and didn't tell me? What a surprise! I love you so much."_

_My Lai… he held me tight and even cried. So excited… excited for us, and for New Yevon, and the Al Bhed. He asked Gippal to be his best man, and I asked Paine to be my Maid of Honor. We would hold the ceremony in Bevelle. All in Spira would be welcomed, and it would be on the Sphere broadcast, live._

_New memories, fresher, of My Lai having to go to help with a battle. I want to help, but he asks me to stay behind. We push back the wedding… and then there is no wedding, because there is no Lai. He was swallowed by the Sea, and now New Yevon blames me. I can no longer safely walk the streets of Bevelle._

I wake with Gippal holding me tight, trying to soothe me.

"Shhhh, it's just a dream, Miko. Wake up… it's okay." His voice is gentle, but worried, and I kiss him, crying.

He calms me, stroking my hair, and I get up and dress for the day. As I brush my teeth, I notice my calendar, and I realize that THE week has passed… those 5 days of _cred._ I look at the 5 red frowning faces and realize I never started… it never happened….

I can't let Gippal know… not until I know for sure.

In the chest by Lai's side of the bed is a potion to test for pregnancy. A quietly take the bottle to the bathroom and do the test.

Pregnant…. Yikes. How do I tell Gippal? What do I do now?

"Miko, are you o… wow." Before I can even think to hide the test, Gippal has seen it.

"Is that what I think it is?" he smiles, stepping closer.

"It is… Yes, It is." I don't know what else to say. I set the test down, and Gippal embraces me, kissing my neck.

Tears begin to pour, and I don't know whether to be happy or scared. Gippal just holds me and sings softly, happy, ecstatic even, but still sweet.

He puts one hand on my stomach, then smiles.

"MIKO! MIKO, Come quick! You have to see this!" Rikku's voice breaks the peace in the house as she appears in the doorway, and I let go of Gippal and move toward her.

"What is it Rikku? What's wrong?"

"In the Desert… it's… He's… they found him… they think… they think it's Baralai!"

"Baralai?" Miko and Gippal Say in unison.

_Oh I pray it's true! My Lai!_


	2. Found

Wow… so what do ya think is gonna happen next? Is Baralai alive? How will he deal with his love being pregnant by Gippal… or is there something else?

((DISCLAIMER.. this chapter includes the song 'Music of my heart' by Gloria Estefan and Nsync, and it's translated into Al Bhed. I do not own it nor am I associated with any of those artists))

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I can hear my heartbeat a million times a second as we race over the dunes. Rikku is leading, taking us to the place where they found him… it might be Lai!

In the distance I see hundreds of Machina, and hope the sphere-cast hasn't arrived yet. I don't want anyone else to see him before me if he's there.

In the back of my mind is the pregnancy worry, but we can deal with it later. Right now, all that matters is that he's okay. I just want to hold him in my arms and hear his voice once more.

At the scene, Rikku breaks through the crowd for me and I go to the stretcher where the as-yet unidentified Spiran lies. I'm afraid to look for fear it may not be him.

"Baralai?" I manage to whisper. Of course, there is no response.

Only just now, I realize the carnage around me. The remnants of Baralai's ship are scattered about the Desert. There are blood and dead bodies everywhere. The smell of death is overwhelming.

I take another step towards the stretcher.. and my heart drops to my feet. "This is not Lai… those are not his hands… those are not his lips… he is not here…" I sit in the sand and cry, and Rikku comes up beside me and holds me. She sings an Al Bhed lullaby to me… the same one I used to sing to her when she hard a hard time while we were growing up. We had always been like sisters…

" Dra cyhtc lyh rayn ouin bnyoanc

Dra hekrd ec ymm oui haat

taab ehceta ouin raynd

dra tnaysc uv dnia muja cmaab

Fa yna ymm yc uha

dra Tacand rumtc oui cyva

oui yna hud ymuha

Duhekrd crymm aht dutyo"

She started to sing it again, but stopped. "Hey! What's that?" she pointed across the wreckage to a mutilated body, obviously dead… but… it was…moving? She took my hand and the two of us ran over, moving the dead body to find someone's arm above the sand. I dug, and she pulled on the arm, and we switched back and forth. Finally, he was out. Though he was caked in blood and sand, there was no mistaking him. "LAI!" I yelled it so loud as I held him that everyone stopped and looked.

I didn't care. I pulled him into my embrace, blood and all and rocked him, singing our own song to him.

_Oui'mm hajan ghuf_

_Fryd oui'ja tuha vun sa_

_Fryd ouin vyedr eh sa_

_Ryc tuha vun so cuim..._

_Oui'mm hajan ghuf_

_Dra kevd oui'ja kejah sa.._

_E'mm lynno ed fedr sa_

_Drnuikr dra tyoc yrayt_

_E drehg uv tyoc pavuna_

_Oui syta sa ruba vun cusadrehk paddan _

_Yht syta sa naylr vun cusadrehk suna_

_Oui dyikrd sa du nih_

_Oui dyikrd sa du vmo_

_Rambat sa du vnaa dra sa ehceta_

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Oui'ja ubahat so aoac_

_Oui'ja ubahat dra tuun_

_Du cusadrehk E'ja hajan ghufh pavuna_

_Yht ouin muja..._

_Ec dra sicel uv so raynd.. _

_Oui fana dra uha_

_Ymfyoc uh so ceta _

_Ymfyoc cdyhtehk po _

_Caaehk sa drnuikr_

_Oui fana dra cuhk dryd ymfyoc syta sa cehk_

_E's cehkehk drec vun oui _

_Ajanofrana E ku_

_E drehg uv frana E'ja paah _

_Yht uv dra uha fru ghaf sa paddan_

_Dryh yhouha ajan femm ykyeh_

_Oui dyikrd sa du nih_

_Oui dyikrd sa du vmo_

_Rambat sa du vnaa dra sa ehceta_

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Oui'ja ubahat so aoac_

_Oui'ja ubahat dra tuun _

_Du cusadrehk E'ja hajan ghufh pavuna..._

_Yht ouin muja..._

_Ec dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Fryd oui dyikrd sa_

_Uhmo ouin muja luimt ajan daylr sa_

_Oui kud drnuikr frah hu uha luimt naylr sa_

_Urr...urr...urr_

_Lyica oui ymfyoc cyf eh sa_

_Ymm dra pacd dryd E luimt pa_

_Ed fyc oui fru cad sa vnaa..._

_Oui dyikrd sa du nih_

_Oui dyikrd sa du vmo_

_Rambat sa du vnaa dra sa ehceta _

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Oui dyikrd sa du nih_

_Oui dyikrd sa du vmo_

_Rambat sa du vnaa dra sa ehceta _

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd _

_Ramb sa rayn dra sicel uv so raynd_

_Oui'ja ubahat so aoac_

_Oui'ja ubahat dra tuun _

_Du cusadrehk E'ja hajan ghufh pavuna _

_Yht ouin muja..._

_Ec dra sicel uv so raynd.._

_Sicel uv so raynd_

_Sicel uv so raynd_

_Ec dra sicel uv so raynd..._

I was crying, and my tears soaked his face. When He smiled, I nearly lost it. The rescue workers tried to take him away, to take him to the Al Bhed Healing Center, but Rikku kept them back. She told them who I was, and they went away.

Finally, I picked up Baralai… my Lai… and put him on the Stretcher that Rikku had been thoughtful enough to bring. It was a hover-stretcher, and would attach to my Dune bike.

Together, we left the carnage and headed back home.

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This cannot be happenning. It's not that I'm unhappy that Baralai is alive... but why now? why, when I get the happiest news of my life, does it all get taken away from me?

Sure, it's great that Baralai is alive, but now... now I'll never have.. our baby...

I know she plans to Marry him as soon as he is well... which won't be long under her healing hand.

Maybe she'll find it in her heart to let me be that child's father... I pray she does...

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I thought I was dead for sure. I felt like I was suffocating.. and of all the people to find me there...

I can feel her gentle touch as she cleans my wounds. she does not wnat to hurt me any more than I already am. All the pain I have felt for months as we were tortured is gone... I cannot feel it. All I can feel is her gentle hands. When I ahve the strength to open my eyes, just for a moment, i see her beautiful face smiling down on me.

She leaves the room for a mom,ent, and gippal takes the oppurtunity to try to ruin everything. "You know, she's pregnant with my baby..."

_that's what HE thinks..._ "No... It is...Mine.." I manage to say. "A Spell... before I left...she... wandted..."

It was hard to talk.. but I didn't need to say anymore. there was a spell/potin.. something that, if she drank it while we were together, would hold onto what I put inside her and would try to get her pregnant every day. I had intended it as a surprise for her, but then the ship was captured. She had thought the potion was Cactus Juice... she would be thrilled to know...

I had known the trip would be dangerous, and so, if I dies, I wanted her to have part of me... she woulve known it was my child the moment it was born.

Gippal, whom I had known for years, understood all this in just what I had managed to say, and left the room.

What I didn't expect was to hear Miko right beside me. "You...Lai.. you did that?"

She understood as well. Only too well...

"Are you terribly mad at me for.. for being with him? I.. we thought.. you were on the Farplane and... and you... I missed you so terribly..." she began to cry

all I could do was smile, but it was enough. she hugged me. "let's finish you up" she said. I felt the air seem to pressurize around me, and my whole body began to tinlge as she poured all her energy into healing me.

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When Baralai sits up by himself, I take that as a sign and collapse onto the couch behind me. My whole body is drained with the power it took to heal him. He gets up and lays beside me, and his arms surround me. "Thank you... I love you..."


End file.
